N is for Nudity…

N is for Nudity

N is for Nudity


N is for Nudity …

Well, that got your attention, didn’t it?

It’s quite a controversial subject, do you think? Nudity in telly, nudity in movies, nudity around the home, even nudity at the beach! Where will it ever end?!

There’s nice nudity, nothing quite as cute and cherubic as a tiny tot baring all,   whether at home or the beach (no “undies, undies togs!” dilemma here), but what about grown-ups? Do we want to see them loitering around their garden in the nude, scaring some of the neighbours ~ and probably amusing some of the others… hmmm probably not, and in some cases “OMG No!”  I don’t see why anyone would deserve to have my nakedness in their eyeballs … I am well past my perv-by date.

Now, I’d like to point out that I’m quite a broad-minded broad who isn’t averse to a little nudity especially if it’s nice to look at… if those sexy blokes in the  movies want to bare themselves, then I can bear that too. I’m not bothered if some of the sexy women want to either…

… but I don’t really see the point in it being gratuitous just to make ratings. Regardless of how gorgeous they are to gaze upon. If it honestly works well in the story line, fine, but otherwise just get on with the story.

I do think the actions have a large part to play in whether nudity is perceived as decent or not though, and again this depends on the story line…

A little flesh peeking in the midst of a scene building up the pulse and passions makes good sense, and even a touch of it during the romantic moments if you get my meaning… but again, keep it real (real-ish for a story anyway). If people want a blue movie then they should just go into that little room that most movies rental shops have! Sometimes too much really is too much, (re-read ‘I for imagine…’) the story should be leading the thoughts not stuffing it in your face. I think semi-clothed is much more attractive and alluring anyway.

So, back to the beach. Have you heard the Undies-undies-togs theory? The proximity to the beach has a direct bearing on the decency of your attire. Togs suddenly become underwear after a few too many steps. This brings us to an interesting observation. Men are different to women. There! I’ve said it. Some of you out there may not have noticed but you will when you get to the beach, or the swimming pools for that matter.

Girls wear one or two pieces and boys tend to wear one. Girls wear something that can often resemble bras and knickers, but of course you won’t wear that out in public! Boys tend to wear something a bit like boxers (girls may too but with a bra-like top) and occasionally an item called Speedos, or trunks, that look remarkably like a pair of briefs but made from swimming material. Now for some strange reason it seems perfectly ok for girls to stroll along the beach in their under wear looking swimming attire, yet if boys wear speedo-style knickers looking things instead of shorts, you’ll hear gasps of horror up and down the beach and all the way to the ice cream shop! Although I hear the speedo is making a comeback….

Nudity is really quite a fun subject I think. In fact, let’s face it ~ occasionally nudity is down-right hilarious! Now those young buffs who are so sexy and, well, buff… are not so amusing but once a body gets past a certain age and fitness level then muscle tone and gravity start to work in more mysterious ways than any god you might pray to for a better figure.

Personally, I think it’s a good idea to find your true love before this point in your life. I mean, I know it’s important to make each other laugh but I don’t want my beloved to giggle every time I undress so it’s as well he fell in while I was slim, trim and terrific. More so than now anyway.

I always think it’s a bit funny when you hear stories of people who get together, hung up on their looks, and each other’s looks, and then complain when their bodies change a bit.

My parents look like a film star couple in their wedding photos, and they each had a glamorous style that had nothing to with fashion and a lot to do with being fit and healthy, and dressing well. They were members of a Sun Club when I was a kid. I went along with them, and perhaps this is where I found my broad mind. Here was a huge crowd of people, very many that I didn’t know, as well as the various family friends that I did know… all walking around starkers.  They would sunbathe, walk in the beautiful club grounds, play sports and socialise. And not once did I feel as though anyone was ‘perving’ at anyone else. It was clothing optional and I was never pushed either way, as I changed shape and got a bit shy (cos of my friends, not them) I would wear a swimsuit or sarong. I had come to realise that nudity is what was normal… and people just put clothes on top. What wasn’t – isn’t – normal is to be ashamed or embarrassed by your body. My Dad was a photographer and as such had a very healthy appreciation for the female form. I mean that quite genuinely, he also had a great respect for women and would frequently describe one as “gorgeous” … I commented one day, at the sun club, that I thought the lady in question was rather plain. I wasn’t being rude, just matter-of-fact. Dad explained that her gorgeous-ness came from within. I did think she was plain, and I could see it easily as she and all the others were naked as jaybirds, and I could see just who had saggy bits, or wobbly bits, tight tummies or bow legs. And as for breasts… they were there in every shape and size imaginable. And it was all so ordinary. Somehow when presented with so much nakedness you just ignore it and notice the person.

In the interests of gender equality, I hasten to add I saw all manner of men’s bottoms too. And penises and scrotums. As I mentioned earlier, sometimes nudity can be hilarious. I really do understand why the cricket box is used in so many sports, and jock straps or snug & supportive undies are as important as a sports bra.

I must say though, one thing I really liked about the Sun Club, is that there’s nothing hidden at a nudist camp… if you like someone it shows, and it’s really in your interest to be respectful and discrete. Egos were as non-existent as neck ties, and it didn’t matter if you were a jeans and sneakers type or preferred Pierre Cardin, who knew? Everyone wore the same brand of skin. Nature’s Own Originals. Personalities shone through.

*Nakedness is quite an effective equaliser.

So what is the Naked Truth? The truth is: If humans were meant to walk about naked we’d be born that way!

Now, I had suggested the benefits of finding your true love while young and fit, and the reason is that there is a certain air of physical attraction going on, and to be honest giggling at runaway wobbly bits is just damned distracting at the wrong moment.  My parents remained in love with each and Dad said Mum was beautiful, sexy, and goooorrrrgeous! They both have aged in those 57 years (it would a medical miracle if they didn’t) and would happily admit to not having the same body they used to, but also not having the same perceptions of body that they used to. Luckily I have inherited this comfortable acceptance of my body – that and the small matter of having convinced my husband that stretch marks are sexy, and wobbly equals cuddly.

I’m ok with my body, I just don’t feel the need to expose it to others in general.

So once again, I’m wondering why is there such hype about some nudity? So long as people are behaving in a socially acceptable manner. Naked bodies aren’t offensive. Rude b@st@rds are.


Nudity quote


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