K is for Kiss
What’s in a kiss… it can be long and lingering or a quick flash on the way past. According to the romantics a kiss can be smouldering, passionate, earth-shattering, life-changing and oh so fulfilling! It can make you swoon, make you weak at the knees, tremble, or feel electrified.
That’s a lot of power for such a little wee pucker…
Having been the happy recipient of a kiss in my youth, that did indeed make me go weak at the knees (though I hasten to add, I did not swoon!), I have always had a bit of a soft spot for a kiss. It’s always an important part of a meaningful moment in the movie ~ so get it right, you two!
A kiss can also be gentle, reassuring, simply affectionate, and just the thing to ease a headache. It can be the touch from your Mum that makes you know you’re safe, that simple kiss on the forehead from Dad always seemed so full of meaning: he loves me, he approves, he cares.
A kiss will mean such different things depending on who is giving it to you. A kiss from my brother or sister, or even a friend on my birthday was clearly just affection, nothing more than that.
I had my share of fumbled, bumbled kisses as a teenager delving into the adventure of dating. Sometimes gentle, sometimes clumsy, most were the typical tentative steps past that ever-important holding hands stage. Those bumbled experiments of the teen years were clearly leaning towards the other option although they didn’t necessarily succeed in any way!
Amongst those tremulous years I had a kiss from a girl that really surprised me. She had spent that whole year of college making my life hell and at the end as we’re breaking up for Christmas, she walked up in front of me and said something about ‘no hard feelings’ and kissed me – right on the lips! Just a straightforward smack on the lips. About one second’s worth. But it struck me speechless. No, not like that. Simply because it was so ridiculously opposite to the way she’d been all year, but also because the lips that had been so horribly harsh turned out to be incredibly soft.
I learnt that the quality of a kiss meant an awful lot towards whether there would be any more kisses, and certainly any more of anything else!
One thing I discovered in an unusual way… was the benefit of a lingering kiss. Now clearly this is one that you’ll share with your best beloved, not just anyone. The unusual thing is that I learnt about this at a Professional Role Development training session ~ there was no smooching going on in class! We were talking about the stresses of the job (emergency services = great amounts of stress at times) and how we un-stress ourselves when we leave at the end of the shift. This is what was recommended: A Seven-Second Kiss. Now 7 seconds doesn’t seem long at all, everyone can spare that long in their lives for something good. The plan is that when you get home to your spouse or partner that you kiss. And hold that kiss for 7 seconds. Most greeting kisses last about a second or two “hi, how was your day (mwah)” or farewells, “have a good day, love ya, bye (mwah)”. These kisses fall into my category of automatic responses. When you hold the kiss for 7 seconds you spend the first two in that automatic ‘mind-elsewhere’ state; the next two thinking ‘this is long’ and the next three actually enjoying the kiss! By the end of the 7 seconds you are really connecting with your spouse, all the crap and rubbish of the day slips off and puddles round your feet, and you step away unburdened. I highly recommend trying it. There will be days that are busy, but unless it’s really pushed you should try taking seven little seconds out of the chaos to really connect with your beloved. Of course, if time is on your side, the kids are elsewhere and there’s a movie on telly, feel free to stop counting to seven and make the most of an ad break!
Your lips are incredible sensitive and a good kiss is just magic. It makes sense to take some time and practice. I’m sure your love interest will be willing, all in the name of research of course!
Another interesting version of kiss I have read about recently is the Third Eye Kiss. Now I found this particularly interesting because I had been doing this for years on my children and they would come and ask for one if they felt upset or tired or headachy. When I get a headache or even one of my migraines, I will go to my husband and lean on him, and he kisses me on the forehead. It does make it feel better. This kiss is a controlled couple-of-seconds- job that is not the all absorbing 7-seconds with a lover, but not the quick ‘mwah!’ as you run out the door either. This is a gentle loving touch that soothes a fever, or imparts care and compassion, or eases a worry or upset. The energy transfer between the two is real and can be felt quite clearly by the recipient, but you do need to be open to it as a negative attitude will stop it firmly. Next time feel stressed of have a bit of a headache, try it. If you want the scientific bumf on it, it’s this: the touch on this seldom-touched area actually stimulates two glands, the pituitary and the pineal glands. They give of yummy hormones (melatonin and serotonin – happy hormones) and wham! …you feel better. The less esoteric amongst us may prefer to call it a forehead kiss, I don’t care what you – just try it!
So, what’s a kiss all about? It’s a sign of affection; an intimate moment between lovers; a promise or a wish…
You can use one to welcome or farewell, to seal a promise or to forgive; but most of all it is used to bond and show you care.
So whether it’s sweet and gentle or full of passion share a kiss with someone special today – your heart will thank you for it xxx